Tablet Wars: Episode IV – The Google Nexus 7 Release Day*

Or ‘How Google Managed to Shit on Every Loyal Customer, Kill Their Reputation and Send Thousands of People Flooding Back to Apple’s Devil Like Arms’.

*For ‘Day’, read ‘Month’, for ‘Month’, read ‘Saga’, for ‘Saga’, read, ‘The Biggest Customer Service and Technology Release Cock up Since the iPhone Generation 1’.

The Little Tablet that Could?
Could this be it? Finally? The Tablet that makes Apple Fall.

July 27^TH 2012

The technology world explodes with excitement; the Google Nexus 7 tablet is revealed for the first time; a ridiculously high tech piece of equipment for a mind blowingly low price of $199 (£159). Online forums go mental, Twitter goes wild with speculations over how Google are selling units at a loss to literally bite into the ‘Apple’ tablet market and more importantly ‘When the FUCK can I order mine!?’.

Then, it’s whispered quietly between a few (you know it can’t be true), then shared with words of caution between a few on forums (it isn’t confirmed), then someone takes a screenshot: ‘I’VE FUCKING DONE IT! I’VE PRE ORDERED MINE! I’M GOING TO BE AMONGST THE FIRST FUCKING FEW TO GET IT!’

That’s right folks. Unless you’ve been living under a brick, or sat in your shack, watching your CRT TV display white noise wondering when BBC News went so downhill, you’ll know that Google did something unprecedented on that fateful day; they released their revolutionary Nexus 7 Tablet for pre-order quite literally, 30 minutes after it was unveiled at their convention. No solid release date was given, merely a vague ‘Mid July’: Clearly Google had taken a leaf out of Apples book, and decided that keeping this vague would create chatter amongst the online world (essentially free advertising). Utter genius, the release came, the specs were given, the price dropped, and then the bombshell: GO! MOVE! QUICK! ORDER YOURS NOW! ONLY AT GOOGLE PLAY! Then it vanished. No word, no more specs, or upgrade news, add ons, no news on accessories, cases. NOTHING. Just the news you could get it NOW and the only place to get it was Google Play.

Well, the geek world went mad. Leaked news was that in the first 3 days, over 3 million units had been pre-ordered through the site. Within 2 weeks, over 5 million units were supposedly allocated to Loyal Android Customers.

I don’t, by the way, use those three words lightly. I really mean it: Loyal. Android.

Om Nom Nom!
Shine that Backside Apple, Androids Gonna Get Ya!

Customers. They really have been. For years, they have been waiting for a Tablet that would match the colossal success of the iPad, match the specs, the build quality, never diverging from their loyal little Green Bot, waiting patiently for that day to come: When they could waive their banners proudly, shouting through megaphones that it was here! The Android Tablet that shit on everything Apple had done, and for less than half the price.

Don’t get me wrong, the Nexus 7 is no Apple killer, or it was never meant to be, it was meant to rival the Kindle Fire. However, the price, and quality, has meant that the juicy, shiney Apple [market share] is being slowly nibbled at and munched on by the Android creature. So much so, that iPad Mini is WELL and truly on its way this year (a full 18 months before it’s expected release date: Erm… knee jerk reaction much?!)

Could it finally be on it’s way?
It’s been rumoured for ages. Now Steve Jobs has gone (the sole advocater there was no future for 7 inch Tablets) will Apple start to move to the intermediate device.

So yes, I would love to close this piece here, and say that I was amongst those loyal few: That I did pre order mine happily and that it has arrived and I’m ecstatically, orgasmically happy with it… So much so I’ve thrown all other technology away… Gone, it went out of the window. I’m actually writing this piece on my Nexus 7 now! It’s fucking brilliant! Look at all the words I can type?!

Sadly not though. Nope. The article isn’t over dear reader. Here comes the kick in the teeth:

In the words of Galadriel, the Lady of Lorien and The Galadhrim:

“They were all of them deceived… for another batch was made. In the Land of Google, in the Workshops of Asus, the Dark Lord Android made another Batch, a master Batch…

…One Batch shipped to stores” …Oh, wait, sorry ‘…Tonnes of Batches shipped to stores’.

Alright, I took that a bit far. But, the essence is still there. Customers were deceived: Google did indeed lie, and ship units out to stores. Not just warehouses for online retailers, oh no, actual high street stores.

Again, much like the pre order rumours, it started small. A few people popped up on forums, with words that they had pre ordered their model physically in store. And what’s this!?! They also got the £15 or $25 free Google Play credit… They DIDN’T have to fork out $15 or £9 for 2 days shipping?! It had to be a lie, it was unconfirmed. Nope, those Android loyalists wouldn’t believe it, and the world turned on. Happily counting down those days till the release period arrived… those circled 10 days in the middle of July on their calendar that signalled the period they could expect their god like device from Google. Google, who, would never mislead or deceive them. Google, who, would give them that solid date as soon as they knew. After all, Google would want to announce their arrival on the Tablet scene with a BRILLIANT, glitch free release date. And if ANYONE could do that, Google could.

Then, a few more people revealed they too had managed to pre order theirs in person at numerous high street stores. Currys and PC World in the UK, Sam’s World, Gamestop and Staples in the US were all mentioned. Receipts were photographed using the pin sharp Galaxy SII and SIII cameras and shared on Superamoled screens. Shit, it must be true?! How could this be?! Betrayed by Google… lied too. But no, that had to be a lie. Perhaps there was something they had missed in the release statement:

Once again, the loyalists found their answer looking back through the release material (before Google went ‘Apple’ and completely dark on any form of release information in the seemingly brilliant move to build up hype). There it was; the news that high street stores would have stock and would be selling the mystical device AFTER those closest and most loyal to the Android had received their pre orders from Google Play. THERE IT WAS! The news that they had waited for: Google must have done it deliberately, giving stores the right to show a shipping date for their own stock so Androidians would know when to expect theirs. BRILLIANT Move, more free marketing and hype created through such a simple move.

So when was it, that mystical date? You could almost hear the ‘pop’ of lids coming off permanent markers as geeks went to mark their calendars: the 16^th July 2012. WOW! Spot on the middle of July. Well done Google, so far so good for that release date, and you haven’t shit on your loyal customers as many thought you had. Perhaps Google would pull this off. Indeed, the hype around the device was and still is palpable. Perhaps the time had come for the Apple to finally fall from its tree… Just maybe…

Again, I REALLY R.E.A.L.L.Y wish I could end this story here. As an avid Android fan, I really wish the story would just end…

“I wish I could tell you that Android fought the good fight, and Apple let them be. I wish I could tell you that”

Role credits ROLE! THE END TTHHEE EENNDD!!??!!

“- but technology releases are no fairy-tale world.”

Hmmm… maybe I’m taking these movie quotes too far. Maybe… We’ll see!

No, I can’t end the tale there. For Google’s grip on the matter, the release, and all form of respect was beginning to unravel. And it started with a tiny, relatively unknown website called EBuyer.

On the 12^th July 2012, (merely 4 more crossed off days geeks before you got your promised ‘one of the first’ models of that elusive Nexus 7) a few stories popped up on the internet that a few lucky sods had had the notification… their cards were charged… their devices shipped! Well, you’ve never seen people so excited about money going OUT of their account. At the news, thousands checked, and checked, and refreshed, and double checked their passwords and usernames for online banking, rang the helpline because, well, they must have the wrong log in info; no money had been taken from their account. What the hell was going on. And then, the news began to spread, those stories were from EBuyer customers… E. BUY. ER. How?! How was it possible that these (the words almost stuck as people spat them out in frustrated, thumped, typing on forums) EBUYER customers had received their devices before those who had pre ordered ON THE DAY OF UNVEILING? And not only that, but Ebuyer customers who had pre ordered a few days ago, and a fair few, who had simply logged on and bought one. You feel the war drums begin however and the ‘Schink’ of sharpening steel when it emerged that again, they had no shipping costs, and still received that ‘exclusive’ credit for Google Play (don’t forget loyal readers, supposedly only available through Google Play for early pre orders).

Well, now the web was buckling, the Apple jeers were growing louder. The anger of customers was building. What would Google do? Well, you’d have thought they would make a statement, denouncing EBuyer, stating it was wrong and they would never ever ever again sell the Nexus 7? No. Oh, perhaps they would get  aslap on the wrists and a delay on further stock? Nope… Hmmm, perhaps just the slap on the wrist a severe word. Still no. Perhaps I should stop guessing and stay silent.

CORRECT. Google stayed mute. And it continued to stay mute. Not giving away a physical release date. Hmm. What was going on? Well, it didn’t matter. Those golden emails that read ‘confirmation of shipping’ would arrive soon… focus on quick refreshes of those inboxes chaps incase you miss it by a few costly seconds. Well, the retail release date crept nearer and nearer, a few emails emerged of PC World, Staples and Sam’s Box orders were shipping.

Still no word from Google. The 16^th came and GASP! A fun word! The silence had been broken, and in ‘FANTASTICALLY original’ (even I have to break here. Original? PLEASE!) in the form of a lyrical Twitter message that went viral quicker than the spread of headlice through a primary school.

“Lock and loaded and ready to play. The Nexus 7 starts shipping today”.

The pain was forgotten, the fact that it was still later than the retail editions was blanked, and the shipping charge was waved aside. None of it mattered, it was SHIPPING! Goggle later confirmed in statements that it was shipping orders ‘in the order that they had been received’. FINALLY the elusive reason for the early pre orders was revealed! You could still get yours first! Brilliant.

Then, why were there people that had ordered on the 27^th June still not received a confirmation email? Why was there news that those who ordered on the 28^th June were having money leave their accounts (JOY!) only to be returned hours later (Sadness… I’m sure those 2 brackets are still the wrong way round). Why were those that ordered on the 12^th, 15^th, 17^th JULY receiving confirmation and even their tablets whilst these people were kept waiting?

And still the Google Play website had NO release date… no ‘now shipping’ notice, no, it still read shipped 1-2 weeks. The mixed messages were maddening. Infuriating. It was time to take to the phones and to emails to Google’s Customer Serv…Ah, and here we arrive at the present day, and the analysis of this whole tale.

Google’s Customer Service… And the fact that it doesn’t actually exist.

Google are entering the world of the big boys. The likes of Apple, Samsung, Microsoft, established companies that take pride in their customer service. If you’re going to compete, the infrastructure has to be there. And this is the essence of where Google have gone wrong.

Not only can you NOT contact their company; through email; well, you can email them, but good luck getting that reply, by phone (There is NO phone number outside of the USA for Google), but should you WISH to cancel an order, you have a, get this, because it’s fact, 15 minute, that’s ONE, FIVE Minute window from your order placement to do so. Otherwise it’s classed as ‘pre shipped’ and cannot be cancelled. And to cancel that order, you have to send an email, that you have to write and send yourself (not automatically done for you clumsy folks who ordered the wrong model) typing in your order number (all 45 digits of it) name, card number and shipping and card address. Now… Do you begin to see Google’s customer service beginning to fall apart?

Erm, also, correct me if I’m wrong, but having ordered something nearly thirty days ago, if it was in pre shipping for this long and STILL hasn’t been sent… what the fuck am I paying £9 shipping for?

Now, the second part of Google’s MASSIVE release cock up.

Here’s the tagline for their ‘Nexus 7’ and it’s not been changed ‘Made for Google Play’. Mm-hmm. Is this the same Google Play that I’ve ordered it from ‘exclusively’, with ‘exclusive credit for that very store’ where I ‘would get it first’. None of which turned out to be true. Now… why on EARTH would I want a device that was made for this store, which has lied to me about everything so far? I mean, for crying out loud, according to that store, even though I lived in the UK, I could still get access to Magazine subscriptions, Movies, TV Shows all through Google Play. Great, except, it turns out I can’t. So, not only has it lied on that front, it has FALSELY advertised what is available on their own device and didn’t bother to remove that information for 3 days AFTER it had become public information. Erm… I’m beginning to detect quite a few issues with this release so far. And it gets even better:

Now. We are up to at the time of writing this piece, the 18^th July. Still no official word from Google on the actual physical shipping of all their pre orders. It started as (from the 13^th July, all pre orders would be shipped in 3 days)… no chance of that. That’s a given.

What’s sad is that the Nexus 7 is a fantastic product. Google have clearly done what many feared would happen; they have massively underestimated demand. What kills me personally is that, it happens every time. Companies think they’re building demand, what they’re building is customer frustration and pushing customers to find similar products.

Yep… so after all the hype. Google fluffed it. Bottled it. Got cold feet.
Back to the drawing board, as we wait for that true Apple challenger.

And enter the iPad Mini. Which as stated before has seen Apple JUMP at this massive disaster of a release that Google have allowed and leaked several release dates… All between August and November.

So what can companies learn from Google’s mistakes:

Well, for starters, Only APPLE can do silence on releases well. Because they have it down to a tee, it’s been practiced and honed since the mediocre success that was the iPhone1 release. Google should never have gone silent, they should have kept customers informed as to what was going on, because, lets face it, it was NEVER going to go smoothly, it is Google’s essentially, trial run for their Project Glass release. They’ve never released a product themselves before, it needed constant communication and reassurance as to what was going on. Facing a wall of uncontactable silence when things are going wrong and not according to the publicised (or lack their of) plan is not only annoying it’s the shittest form of customer service.

Which leads us to the second thing companies can learn. You MUST have a Customer Service department in place before you do something like this. Because when things DO go wrong (which they will), customers NEED to get in contact with your company. I mean, on whats happened with Google: SHOULD something go wrong with the customers Nexus 7… who the FUCK do they contact for customer support. Hmm? No one at Google that’s for sure. You need to have at least one department to deal with complaints, enquiries, and the like. No, Google was doomed from the start without this. And whats even worse… They tried to do it silently and essentially and seemingly, stick their head in the sand, cover their ears and sing ‘La-la-la’ to themselves.

Bad, bad move.

Yep, much like elusive ‘perfect Trilogy’ Google fell at the final hurdle. And n such a ball smashing way, that Apple must be rubbing their money mottled hands and planning a tonne more Apple Orchards. Google have had their shot. And man oh MAN have they buggered it up.

Well done Google, the Apple behemoth now rumbles on, stronger than ever. Because if there is ONE thing Apple can offer…

It’s decent customer service and a shiny, healthy Apple for every loyal customer… and this one actually is ONLY available at Apple Stores.

The Hunger Games, Battle Royale, Twilight or… Star Wars?

 Let’s be honest, The Hunger Games is as similar to Battle Royale as Star Trek 2011 was to Bambi, or as Twilight (guh) was to Interview With A Vampire.

Please Note: This article MAY contain spoilers.

Is it just me? I'm sure I can see something wrong with this collection of characters?

The hype, the weeks of waiting, the rave reviews and the record breaking box office: The Hunger Games has arrived. Not only is ‘The Girl on Fire’ at the box office, the reviews and the film itself burn with excitement. Oh, and of course, the inevitable internet controversy that precedes and follows the release every hyped up, teenage aimed and slightly ‘cult’ film.

ARGH! I see it now, BLACK characters! I'm outraged, I'm shocked! I'm... oh wait...

Firstly we had the fact that apparently, the film was racist, by casting black actors as secondary characters Rue, Thresh and Cinna (portrayed by newcomers Amandla Stenberg and Dayo Okeniyi and Lenny Kravitz respectively). There was outrage at this fact, apparently according to more than one movie goer blog; it ‘ruined the film’.

Now, I’m not being funny, but please read the following passages that are the descriptions of both Rue and Thresh the first time we meet them in the capital Panem:

Rue: “And most hauntingly, a twelve-year-old girl from District 11. She has dark brown skin and eyes, but other than that, she’s very like Prim [Katniss’, the protagonist of the film’s, sister] in size and demeanour.”

Thresh: “The boy tribute from District 11, Thresh, has the same dark skin as Rue, but the resemblance stops there. He’s one of the giants, probably six and half feet tall and built like an ox.”

Cinna: Throughout the book is simply described as having green eyes and closely cropped hair: no skin colour is mentioned.

Now, call me a cynic, or call me whatever the hell you like, but 2 things strike me from the above 3 paragraphs taken from the source material that the film is based on.

Number 1: the source material states quite clearly states that 2 of the 3 characters that are causing this outcry are in fact black.

Number 2: What exactly does a characters skin colour have to do with a story in which rich members of a world force the poor to kill each other for entertainment? Also, the fact that members of our own society have a problem with this (baring in mind that not only is this story not real, it is a send up of western civilization and it’s values) simply puts into perspective the problems within our society that this film highlights. Seriously guys, it isn’t the 16^th Century anymore, we’ve moved on. Why is this even remotely an issue in the modern world, let alone a piece of modern cinema, that isn’t even original! It’s based (rather accurately) on a bestselling and critically successful novel. To claim you’re fans of the source book, and are annoyed with the adaptation, because the correct ethnic origins are followed? Hmm, doesn’t really ring true somehow does it?

                Another point: surely the fact that Lenny Kravitz is fantastic in this film; strong, confident, heart-warmingly compassionate; basically, everything his character is supposed to be, is again, more important than his skin colour? His performance is outstanding.

My own personal thoughts on this response from the… younger members of the audience, really shows up the ‘Twilight’ generation for

Ah... miserable bitch and a shite vampire. I'm sure i've seen this before... but with better actors and storyline...

what they are and for their values, which ironically, is my second grievance with the reaction to this film: More bothered about the attractiveness and physical image of an actor/character, than with the actual depth brought to said character by whom-so-ever has been chosen to play them. I am so grateful that no one was contracted to walk around looking moody whilst topless in this film (yes, you know who you are toothy and hairball spewing dicks). This film has brought teenage films back up to a successful and recognised standard; something that manages to portray emotion, and engage with audiences on different levels, not just rely on people stripping off to pull in ticket sales. The fact that the characters in The Hunger Games not only fail to strip, but also present falsified feelings, lies within a relationship, betrayal and a slow growth of emotional attachment to one another, is a credit to the author and the screenplay adaptors. This film is a truer representation of teenage relationships than any I’ve seen for a while. I applaud those who took the decision to trust in the acting talent of these youngsters to carry the film, not strip off and hope torsos and waists would distract from wooden delivery and dodgy lines. Bravo guys. Seriously, bravo.

...Ah yes, yes i have. What's that? Twilight isn't fully original either? You lie!

For those who are intending to see Hunger Games because you’re expecting something similar to Twilight; (apparently, in Twilight, there is a love triangle also?). Please don’t, if you enjoyed Twilight on an obsessive level, you won’t enjoy this, it’ll go over your head, it actually requires the audience to engage on an emotional, not just physical level… something that, knowing some fans of these ‘films’ (and I use that word very loosely) you would very much struggle to do. In case you hadn’t noticed, I really struggle to engage with shallow and pointless cinema.

Now, that’s part 1 and part 2 over, and I hope, settled as well. My 3^rd issue is one that is perhaps slightly more complex: A lot of people left showings of The Hunger Games saying one thing: “Well that was just an edited 12A, American version of Battle Royale” [Battle Royale was a 1999 novel (oh yes internet fanboys, it was a novel) and 2000 film in which students of a school are dropped on an island to kill each other].

Now. I will give you a response to this, and then an explanation for that response:

You’re idiots. You’re idiots jumping on an internet bandwagon very much similar to the ‘Anti-Twilight’ campaign. You think it’s cool to hate this film because it’s based on teen material much like the emo saga that came before it. My final point: Critics, love this film. If it was similar to Twilight or Battle Royale in anyway; either in calibre, storyline or standard, don’t you think this would have been mentioned by a more recognised and a respected mind than Japanese-cinema loving fanboys on the internet?

Now, spot the difference. No, seriously, it IS that easy to do.

Firstly, the fact that so many hate this film on the basis of Twilight infuriates me. For those still questioning these 3 books and 4 films about dogs and chaps with dental issues (and also a girl who finds them attractive? Necrophilia and bestiality anyone?) (wtf?!) this is what it has done to modern cinema and audiences: it’s dumbed them down so much they hate critically superior films on the basis of ‘unattractive’ leads (on a side note, Jennifer Laurence? Unattractive? Please!).

Secondly, I have to ask, how many of you have actually seen Battle Royale, and how many are simply jumping into the mob, wielding your pitchforks and torches, because it’s currently ‘cool’ to hate anything or anyone popular? Hmm? As the title of this piece states, it’s like saying Star Trek is to Bambi because Spock’s mum died.

Storyline for Battle Royale: In the future, the Japanese government captures a class of ninth-grade students and forces them to kill each other under the revolutionary “Battle Royale” act.

Storyline for The Hunger Games: Set in a future where the Capitol selects a boy and girl from the twelve districts to fight to the death on live television, Katniss Everdeen volunteers to take her younger sister’s place for the latest match.

Now number one, I’m not naive, I can see similarities. But that’s it, they’re similarities. It’s like saying Twilight is the same as Interview With A Vampire because they both contain the dentist-needing blood suckers. (Twilight fans, watch Interview With A Vampire by the way, that is a real vampire film).

Firstly, Battle Royale is not a contest that is televised to an entire nation, The Hunger Games is. Secondly, the government in Battle Royale capture the class quietly and without publicity. The whole idea of the event in The Hunger Games is that is such a publicised and widely broadcast event. It is meant as a show of dominance from ‘The Capital’; to show that the other districts within the story have no power to stop them. Not really seeing that many similarities so far… other than the very broad premise.

Thirdly, the books that each film is based on (Battle Royale by Koushun Takami and The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins) were published in 2 different countries; Battle Royale in Japan in 1999 and The Hunger Games in the Western World in 2008. Now, Battle Royale was released in English in 2004, however, 4 years is a very long gap between publications for there to be cries of plagiarism called from the angry internet dwellers. On that note, I have to say guys, Battle Royale; great film, but not that mainstream. I have to ask again, how many of you have actually seen it? And do you think that Suzanne Collins (see picture), a nice 49 year old lady from America has sat down to watch it? Or even read it? And how many are just jumping on the bandwagon? Seriously? Because if you have seen it, then you’d know that Battle Royale is a standalone film, that didn’t need (and actually in my view was hampered by) a sequel.

The Hunger Games is the story of a rebellion, an uprising against a dictatorship. It has more in common with the first Star Wars trilogy than with Battle Royale. The Hunger Games themselves, and the defiance shown towards Panem’s leaders by 2 of the contestants, is merely the beginning. The second 2 stories tell of the uprising and rebellion the actions of the contestants of the 74^thannual Hunger Games cause. It is the basis for a much larger and destructive story. Difference number four; it requires the subsequent novels to complete the story. Left as it was, it would have felt incomplete.

That's right illiterates, elements from this can be seen in BOTH Battle Royale AND The Hunger Games! Who-da-thunk?

I submit, there are similarities, as I said earlier. But you could say that of any novel and of any film. It is completely unfair to say that The Hunger Games is a rip off one other film/book. It contains elements of several films, think about it: 1984, The Lord of the Flies, Survivor, The Truman Show, Zoolander, Metropolis, Blade Runner. For crying out loud, the list could go on. It is the nature of the entertainment media to take elements from successful sources and use them as inspiration. It is practically impossible to claim divine and purely original ideas; they don’t truly exist, you have to have had your idea from somewhere, or something. Collins says herself, that her idea came from watching the BBC News channel’s coverage of the Iraq War (note: the most successful and watched News channel in the UK) and reality TV: The only thing watched en mass anymore (sadly).

And EVEN this! I know I know... I couldn't believe it either! *sarcasm*

The point is that to claim The Hunger Games is a rip off of one source is ridiculous. Academics and critics all agree that “common for artists to borrow from and improve on many sources, most times without fully realising it. Quentin Tarantino has built his career on this principle.” (Jonathan Looms, writing for The Oxford Student).

Overall, the criticisms of The Hunger Games are rather stupid and pointless. It cannot be denied that not only is it a fantastic book; I would have to make a case for it being the next Generations Harry Potter for getting kids back into reading, but it really is a fantastic adaption. And here, I would argue it surpasses the Harry Potter franchise for how true an adaptation it is from its source material. It brings teen films and young adult films back into the public eye. Something I never thought would happen. It has given them back a respect and stature stripped from them by previous, shall we say lesser films. It deserves its praise and it does deserve to be seen.

Well done Hunger Games:

Yes… The World will be watching.

Deluxe/Platinum/Special Edition: Actually, it’s just normal.

The once occasional, and rather cool practice of an album re-release or same time release of a so-called ‘Special Edition’. Now it’s just standard and rather shameful.

 

I’ll be honest; I very rarely buy albums these days. What with the advent of free music through Deezer, last.fm and the like, I don’t see the need to spend the cash I seem to so very infrequently earn on music I can otherwise hear for free. Also, I have had something of a retro realisation that I’m in love with a bit of Radio 2 over the course of the day.

However, this year sees the return of 2 of my favourite bands to the music scene: Garbage and Keane (alright, alright… don’t judge!) have forced me to slightly reconsider my physical copy drought. In fact, I have pre-ordered both. Although, for some reason, instead of just ‘buying the 2 albums’ I discovered I had a rather difficult decision; I had to pick between 6 (Yes, SIX) versions of 2 releases.

Now, at first, all I could see was a difference in price; for Keane I had a choice of 4:

1. The standard edition: £9.99
2. The extended edition: £12.00
3. The deluxe edition: £25
4. The Strangeland Edition: £40
   

   Now HERE is a deluxe edition! Different colours and EVERYTHING. Red cover definitely worth the extra £2, much more bright and vibrant... although black and white would go with my decor...

And for Garbage, upon investigating the pre order, I was in for a real treat, I could spend £10 on the black on white covered standard edition, OR for an extra £2 I could get the white on red covered, ‘Deluxe’ edition. Wow! A brighter colour for an extra £2; I’m in!

So of course, I had to investigate these pricing differences further. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not backward, I’m not naive, and I am aware, that the majority of the time, these new-fangled ‘exciting editions’ of albums contain extra tracks, extra material and the like. My problem lies with why artists and indeed, the majority of the time, labels, feel compelled to do this.

Upon further investigation, I discovered that the deluxe/extended editions from both bands did indeed include 4 bonus tracks apiece. Excellent. AND, in the case of Keane’s seemingly more extravagantly priced releases of ‘Strangeland’ you received a DVD of videos, making of’s and concert material, as well as a coffee table book of images from the band, taken over the course of the recording as well as a short story from none other

You can pick which edition: They didn't even bother with alternate artwork! Cheapskates

than William Boyd! The things you can get from music nowadays. And with the £40 top o’ the range edition of the album, Keane were also offering a, and I quote, ‘strictly limited edition, hand-numbered screen-print to commemorate the release of ‘Strangeland’. Printed on 250 gsm archival paper, this print is exclusively available from the Keanemusic.com web store. Size: 12 inch x 12 inch’.

Now, that’s great! For super fans and the like. But again, why is there a need for this? Why do labels release several versions of an album? I could perhaps get on board with 2 editions at a push; one if you’re relatively new/just discovered the band and aren’t sure, but want to give them a try. One if you’re die hard, love them to pieces and want every single bit of music you can get your hands on (myself and Garbage have this sort of relationship). However, as I stated at the start of this article, with the advent of the internet, social media, Youtube, last.fm, Deezer and the astronomical rise of Spotify, you don’t need to pay that extra amount to hear these tracks. So why bother? Once upon a time, these deluxe editions flew off the shelves, because fans could NOT hear these tracks anywhere else. However, as Keane have done, labels and artists are resorting to ever increasingly bizarre offers to get fans to part with the larger handful of their change. What’s sad, is that music is becoming ever bigger in peoples’ lives due to the ease that it can be accessed, the rise of independent and unsigned artists that perform on Youtube and Facebook, and yet labels still feel a need to only offer fans a complete album from their favourite artists, if they’re willing to part with the maximum amount of cash. It’s quite sad really. Surely now, with piracy as it is, CD sales slackening, labels should be clammering to get fans and potential fans to part with cash, not bandwidth. So to me, it seems prudent to give fans these essentially complete albums, instead of the half effort they currently get, for the same price. Correct me if I’m wrong.

What blackens my view of the music industry even further is the shameful and frankly appalling action of ‘re-releases’.

This practice, as you will all of course know, requires fans to go out and buy an album, and then, a few months later, instead of being given another album, or even an EP (extended play) they are given the same album with ‘[insert fancy word to do with the artist or album here] edition’ plastered on the end. It’s cheap, requires minimal publicity or promotion and offers big returns. Win win win all round. Oh, nope, wait, not if you’re a fan. As then you have to pay.

This payment angers me massively. Not only are fans asked to pay more in the first place for their “special edition” of an album on

OH MY GOD! New Katy Perry Album! I... oh wait. You might well pout Miss Perry, living your Teenage Dream with your fans parents cash. (Bint).

release date (let’s say £12, that seems like an industry standard). No, they are also asked to then pay more at a later date for the same LP. This is normally either £12-15, justified usually with the inclusion of around 4 ‘new’ tracks or ‘remixes’. So that’s around £4-5 per track, if you already own a copy of that now defunct ‘special edition’. That’s more than you’d pay for a single, and even then, you get 1-3 b-sides on top of your favourite radio tune.

Fantastic, I think I’ve just exploded with excitement. I mean, it’s such orgasmic value isn’t it?

There’s only one thing that could perhaps make this farce even worse. And that would be if these re-releases were aimed at teen pop artists. Artists whose album sales largely come from the bank of mum and dad and not from the pockets of their younger fans. God, wouldn’t that be something unbelievably shameful.

Hmm, good thing that Katy Perry, Christina Aguilera, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Britney Spears, Madonna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus don’t EVER release these sort of music grabbing monstrosities isn’t it? Especially not recently, with climates and parents incomes squeezed as hard as they currently are *cough Nicki Minaj*, *cough-cough Katy Perry*, *cough Lady-coughing-Gaga*.

Even the Queen. Even the QUEEN has released 2 editions of her latest work. Although i will admit, she might be pushing 50, but the woman can still make a decent record, and look Bloody good!

The sad fact is that with actual music sales still much lower than they should be, and artists having to make their money through tours and merchandise, labels do resort to increasingly ridiculous tactics to break big fans, still small banks. Look at the recent Biffy Clyro album: £200 for one version (yes, that is a 2 with TWO zeros after it), which included a piece of the capes worn by the models on the album cover (and believe me, it was a distinctly small piece of cloth, one of my friends made the mistake of parting with a week’s wage).

Now, I am most disheartened to admit, that as I said, I love the 2 bands that caused me to write this article. So I bought the deluxe editions of both CD’s (well, not quite for Keane’s I went for the extended edition). Luckily, Amazon was offering them both at the same price as the now almost defunct standard edition of their respective albums. So naturally human instinct for a bargain kicked in; more content for the same price? I was there.

Now, I am distinctly hoping that this practice dies a death, and dies a death soon. Music is important to people in different ways and on different levels, but important none the less. To limit or even deny people of music: to get them though difficult periods, break ups, passings, losses and to celebrate the more joyful moments simply through greed and quite frankly a lack of something I believe has been largely absent from the industry for a while; creativity and originality has to stop. I am pleased to say that I have seen an increase of EP’s in my new music trawls recently, although not from the teen pop crowd, it is pleasing to see a return to originality and a bit of hard work.

Music industry, take note: people do not mind waiting 2-3 years for a fantastic album, look at Adele. What people are now wising up to is blatant cashing in. Instead of filling a gap between albums, here is a thought: let the gap and demand for new music grow, let artists create something new, ground breaking and fantastic instead of the same old-same old. People aren’t interested. Take the time to scout, find raw, exciting talent. Give another budding hopeful the chance to shine.

The music industry isn’t about money. Music should be an art. Art takes time. And art doesn’t have a standard edition and a deluxe edition if you part with more cash.